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DestroΩ

[related: Cold Slither, The Baroness, Synthnoids]


James McCullen Destro XXIV, or, simply, Destro, is a primary antagonist in the G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero franchise. A native of Callander, Scotland, Destro hails from over a millenia of fiercely independent weapons dealers. He is Laird of the Castle Destro in the Scottish Highlands [1], leader of the Iron Grenadiers, and founder of M.A.R.S. Industries, a weapons manufacturing firm. During the War of the Three Kingdoms, a descendant of Destro's was convicted of providing weapons and munitions to both sides of the conflict and sentenced to life in a highly constricting metal mask known colloquially as a face quod. Prideful to a fault, Destro's family chose to continue donning the mask as a symbol of independence and strength, thus leading to the form fitting beryllium facade that came to define Destro's visage [2]. Weapon systems developed by Destro for Cobra include Cold Slither, a mind-controlling hair metal band featuring the Dreadnoks [3], and synthnoids, a breed of borderline-sentient nano-technologically-based shapeshifters (similar to the Terminator franchise's SkyNet T-1000) that eventually come to endanger the earth.

Destro is often portrayed as a ruthless and calculating businessman, driven by a desire for wealth and power. Yet beneath his cold exterior lies a complex and nuanced individual, whose motivations and actions are steeped in the rich mythology of his family's history and their centuries-old feud with the Scottish clan, [REDACTED]. Despite his nefarious intentions and thirst for chaos, Destro often exhibits a strong, albeit misguided, sense of honor and loyalty to his fellow arms dealers, as well as a deep and complex affection for The Baroness, a fellow member of Cobra. Their relationship, which by most accounts remains unconsummated, is characterized by relentless flirtation, bizarre chivalry, and, at times, maniacal jealousy.

href#[redacted] :: House of Destro.
  1. A castle housing in its dungeon a large hot pink cthonic squid. Destro's fortress was later unwittingly repossessed by Lady Jaye via the Baroness (disguised as the temptress Coverta Fatale) in retaliation for flirting with a young blonde-haired and spritely Cobra cadet. See: "Skeletons in the Closet", G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero, Season 1, Episode 53.
  2. It is worth noting that Destro's mask is not simply cosmetic or symbolic. Rather, it is a medically necessary device to treat facial hemiatrophy - an extremely rare disorder causing facial tissue necrosis when exposed to the elements. Destro is believed to have developed facial hemiatrophy from having worn a metal mask exclusively from the age of eleven.
  3. A group of chiseled Australian-sounding vandals and thieves that reportedly survive almost entirely on chocolate donuts and grape soda.