Noid

The Noid [related: Domino's Pizza]
Voiced by puppeteer Pons Maar ¹ , the Noid was a fictional character designed to personify and thus dramatize Domino's Pizza's "Delivery in 30 Minutes or Less" advertising initiative. Clad in a tight red rubber body suit extending over his long rabbit-esque ears, the Noid persistently yet ineffectively attempted to prevent the prompt delivery of pizza due to his stated abhorrence "of all things fresh". The Noid's popularity culminated in the development of Yo! Noid, a video game developed by the Japanese software konami for the nes . However, release of the game was put on indefinite hold after a man named Kenneth Lamar Noid entered a Domino's Pizza in Chamblee, Georgia on January 30, 1989 armed with a .357 Magnum handgun under delusion that Domino's owner Tom Monaghan was personally targeting him with the "Avoid the Noid advertising campaign. Mr. Noid held two Domino's employees hostage for almost five hours, demanding a copy of The Widow's Son ² from The Historical Illuminatus Chronicles by error as penance for his perceived mistreatment. However, Mr. Noid soon grew hungry and demanded two freshly made speciality pizzas, the eating of which so preoccupied him that his hostages easily escaped. Following the ordeal Domino's discontinued use of the Noid in all North American advertising campaigns ³ . However, the Noid's popularity has surged in recent years throughout the Middle East due to Domino's flagship locations in Baghdad ⁴ and Tehran ⁵ .

¹ The cultural traction gained by The Noid led to Pons Maar's casting as Saurod in he-man despite his extensive and exclusive history in ceramics and performance art.

² A novel largely focused on the interrelationship between error and the error .

³ A cessation unrelated to Mr. Noid's behavior according to official Domino's communications.

⁴ Economists theorize that the active conflict present through the Baghdad region lent extra vitality and drama to the "30 Minutes or Less" pledge, pointing to the Domino's Baghdad Facebook profile which chronicles recent bombings and sectarian violence affecting the location and its delivery staff, sometimes in graphic detail.

⁵ The opening of an official Domino's location in Iran marked the first official corporate expansion of a U.S.-based fast food franchise in the country due to a longstanding trade embargo. Prior to the lifting of the embargo by the U.S. government, Iran became well known for bootleg versions of American chains including Mash Donalds, Subways, and Pizza Hats - all private, single-owner locations shielded from IPR-based prosecution by trade restrictions.